Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
