id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Please don't give away my fajitas
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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