just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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