I CAN MOONWALK!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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