nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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