Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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