if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
