I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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