you mean i was at the winter classic?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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