she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize