I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
