it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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