Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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