i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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