In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
