what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
