its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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