I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's blow job season.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
