Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
