I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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