a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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