those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
