I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude i'm inner monologue high
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
