love makes seman taste better
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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