are you so shy because you have an std?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
