And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
