I'm drive I can fine osifer
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
