I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
