i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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