Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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