I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
