your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
