Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
