Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
