Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
