Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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