so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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