Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
People in love make me want to vomit
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
