i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
