i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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