I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
