I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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