Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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