So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
