on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize