he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
