hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize