these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
