how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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