You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
