There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
