yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize