whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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