hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
