I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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