just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
