Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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