I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we made out on top of his cat.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize