His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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