he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
