The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
