Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
