Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

why did u let me go home with him last night?

(260): View more from Indiana

u were determined it was a good idea

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it

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(205): View more from Alabama

the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.

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(716): View more from New York

I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.

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(480): View more from Arizona

he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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(301): View more from Maryland

My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

is your ankle ok??

(603): View more from New Hampshire

WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME

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