If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
