So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
MIDGETS
????
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
