I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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