you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
