I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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