it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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