i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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