my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
